I created a new Pandora station yesterday. The following is a list of the first ten songs that played:
"Summer of '69" -Bryan Adams
"I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" -U2
"Glory Days" -Bruce Springsteen
"Need You Tonight" -INXS
"Hit Me With Your Best Shot" -Pat Benatar
"King of Pain"- The Police
"Heart of Glass" -Blondie
"I Touch Myself" -The Divinyls
"(I Just) Died in Your Arms" -Cutting Crew
"Brass Pocket" -The Pretenders

I'm about ready to declare this the greatest station I've ever created. It even beats the one that I've been tweaking for years to get only songs that I love. The song seed for this new station?? The entry title probably gave it away, but it's "Bette Davis Eyes" by Kim Carnes. Go ahead, try it out. You can thank me later.

In other news... this past Thursday, the administration held a meeting for my class about residency interviews. There was a panel of program directors for various residencies. They talked about the amount of weight they give the interviews (a lot, duh), questions that commonly trip up applicants ("What have you read lately.." really?), and unspoken "rules" about things like handing out copies of your publications and sending additional correspondence. In short, what I learned is that different program directors expect different things. Like the peds or anesthesia person who said, "Look up your interviewer's CV so you can ask them lots of questions about their research interests!" followed by the radiologist who said "Um, that's lame," and the internist who said "I can spot a brown-noser from miles away." Thanks for the tips guys! All in all, the meeting made me quite a bit more anxious about the interview process. Boooo.

Saturday was, of course, all college football, all day long. Vandy played LSU, causing many people to question my allegiances. I will always cheer for Vandy over LSU, since I am currently a Vanderbilt student (soon to be alum) and have never been an LSU student. No, the summer enrichment classes I took in middle school don't count. Rooting against one's own school is cheap, even when a loss is all but certain. The game was moderately enjoyable, if only because it wasn't the 41-3 blowout that I anticipated. A 23 - 9 loss isn't too terrible! It should be noted that I was the only person in the entire sports bar to do the "Vandy! Vandy! Oh hell yeah!" cheer when we scored our lone touchdown. Whatever, pseudo-fans.

Yesterday, Bette Davis Eyes Radio provided the background music for some serious urogyn studying. I was preparing for today, when I was scheduled to operate with an attending known for being very demanding. I knew the procedure forwards, backwards, and upside down. So of course, I got zero questions. Such is my life. Better to be overprepared than underprepared, I guess. I did get to drive the cystoscope a bit; that was cool.

Chief rounds at 6am tomorrow, that means I need to go to bed right now. Goodnight!!

As you might have gathered from the last entry, I had a great weekend. casibeth came up from ATL for the weekend. I had a blast hanging out with her and giving her a little taste of Nashville! (Seriously... most of the weekend involved eating.) And then, of course, there was the concert Saturday night. I found it amusing that I got to hear two of the staples of the mediocre cover band from Flying Saucer trivia*. Needless to say, "Chasing Cars" is much better as performed by Snow Patrol, and "Yellow" is much better as performed by Coldplay.

*Recent upheaval in my life: as of two weeks ago, trivia no longer happens at the Flying Saucer. It's now at a different place with fewer beers on tap, more items on the menu, fewer waitstaff (longer waits for food), fewer people (no need to tablesave), and fewer mediocre cover bands. It's taking some getting used to.

Moving on, I'm now on my last rotation of third year, Child Psychiatry consults. The team consists of two attendings who work on alternate days, a first year fellow, and me. One of the attendings has been one of my small group leaders since day 3 of med school. (I have a distinct memory of her welcoming my Ecology group to Vandy, introducing herself, and then telling us "I'll be your Master Clinical Teacher when you're third years." Third year seemed so impossibly far away, I couldn't imagine why anyone would have us look ahead that far.) Anyway, it's great, because she really really knows me. It's not so great, because she really really knows me. As in, if I'm not on top of things tomorrow, she'll know darn well it's because I spent two hours at trivia tonight.

Coldplay concert tonight. Amazing. Wonderful. Delightful. Ridiculously awesome!!

I like that they opened with "Life in Technicolor" and closed with "Life in Technicolor ii."

I like that they played every song on the "Viva La Vida" album, except "Yes" and "Reign of Love," both of which I can live without.

I like that they played "Green Eyes," a lesser-known song from the Rush of Blood to the Head album.

Once again, singing the chorus of "In My Place" along with the entire crowd was a highlight of my life.

Techno-ish version of "God Put a Smile Upon Your Face" + "Talk".. different, but cool.

Piano acoustic version of "The Hardest Part"!!!

Rediscovering the part of "Politik" ('give me love over this...') that always, always makes me cry.

I like that the background video for "Lovers in Japan" was so damn literal. Yes, please show footage of soldiers, marching on.

When Chris Martin led the audience in a Mexican wave of that involved no standing, but waving our lit cell phones... badass.

I will have no voice tomorrow.

It is tomorrow.

Highlights of last weekend...

Sunday morning, I went with 7 other people to Monell's, for family style, all-you-can-eat, down-home Southern breakfast. It was very tasty, but it wasn't really anything I couldn't get any time I wanted at home. Grits, eggs, bacon, sausage, and biscuits has pretty much been my default breakfast every single morning for my entire life. Seriously, when I was home for spring break this year, I had to warn my mom ahead of time when I didn't plan on eating that for breakfast. It has only been fairly recently that I've realized that not all my friends, even the Southern ones, have had similar upbringings. Now I'm not dissing Monell's, because I'm not at home now, and I'm certainly not cooking all that food for myself every day. I would definitely recommend it to people who aren't used to giant southern breakfasts. And I would bring my parents there, since they like to go out to eat at places with familiar foods.

On Memorial Day itself, I was mostly a waste of space. In the evening I went over to Centennial Park with Paige and Jo for a blues festival. It was an all day event, but we only saw the headliner-- Bobby Blue Bland. Or "Bobby Blue Bland and the Bobby Blue Bland Blues Band," as I said repeatedly throughout the day. That was probably annoying... anyway, my mom and most of her siblings love blues music, so I was quite familiar with Mr. Bland. I sent my mom a text message about the concert, and she texted back, "I am so jealous that is wrong i am the blue person in the family have fun". She's still working on punctuation, and capitalization, but she's getting better at the whole texting thing every day!! Also, she's apparently blue in color. I hadn't realized that.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
So at the end of the long weekend, I had more days off Psych than days I'd worked on the rotation. It kind of felt like the rotation only just got started this week. I really like it so far. Still trying to tease out whether that's because I actually enjoy psychiatry, or because I enjoy it when the resident says "Bye! See you tomorrow!" shortly after noon. Maybe a little bit of both.

High point: The other day, one of my patients told the attending, "I was feeling bad, but then I talked to Laquita and I feel a lot better now!" She pointed to me as she said this, so I feel pretty confident that I am in fact the Laquita she meant. That felt really good, and not just because my attending gave me a huge beaming smile and approving nod. However, I later realized that if that patient comes back to the hospital relapsed or, God forbid, post-overdose or suicide attempt, my heart would break into tiny pieces. Reason #1 why I don't think I'm cut out for a career in psychiatry.

Low point: I recently had a vivid nightmare about being shot in the face after a different patient discussed his previous suicide plans in exquisite detail. That pretty much ended all my future sleep plans for that night. Reason #2 I'm glad my resident let me go home early, and reason #2 I'm not a future psychiatrist. (Also reason #17894823934634832 why I might need to see a mental health professional myself.)

This morning, I got to hear a lecture on disclosing errors. The same lecture that I thought was so awesome on the first day of medical school orientation. The same lecture that I'm starting to have memorized after hearing it at least four more times before today. I NEED to do my residency at another institution, if only to save myself from a future in which I hear that exact same lecture seven more times!

I am very happy that I'm not the only person doing posts in honor of national poetry month! Keep sharing your favorites, guys.

Pediatric neurology continues to go well. In clinic I tend to see about 6 patients a day. I've seen a wide assortment of seizure disorders, in addition to developmental disorders, movement disorders... and a few good old fashioned headaches. Trying to puzzle out diagnoses for the new patients is pretty cool. So is trying to figure out the best medication plan for the return patients. Overall it's been much more of a mental challenge than general peds clinic. Tomorrow, I switch over to the inpatient consults side. Although whenever there aren't any consults to be seen, I'll be right back in clinic.

I just got home from Nashville 4 Africa, a benefit concert featuring the African Children's Choir. I haven't been talking the concert up because I didn't even know it was happening until Monday. That's when one of the residents I'm working with offered me an extra ticket that she had. I thought it might be awkward to go hang out with a bunch of residents, so I considered being antisocial and claiming that I had something else to do tonight. I'm so glad I didn't. The concert was amazing!! I'm not a country music fan, but even I could appreciate seeing Keith Urban, Dierks Bentley, and Faith Hill all performing with the children's choir. There were also appearances by Jars of Clay, Third Day, and Brad Arnold (the lead singer of Three Doors Down)-- all bands I did my fair share of listening to in the mid-late 90s.

But even with all the music performers, my favorite moment might've been the brief appearance by Hasheem Thabeet, who played basketball for Connecticut and will be entering the NBA draft this year. As soon as the host announced that the next guest was from "Tanzania by way of Connecticut," I basically squealed "HASHEEM THABEET IS HERE??!!" like I was the biggest Huskies fan in the whole building. It's not that I like UConn that much; I'm just a college basketball fangirl.

Bedtime!!

The past couple of days, I have seen some ridiculous operations. I'll try to describe them in terms that are as nontechnical as possible. First, for a patient with floor-of-the-mouth cancer: they removed the affected part of her mouth, jawbone, and part of her tongue. They took out all the lymph nodes on that side of her neck. They removed part of a small bone in her leg, with skin and blood vessels attached. That was used to make a new jawbone and new floor of the mouth. Then a skin graft from the thigh was used to cover the hole where the leg bone used to be. Then, for a patient with voice box cancer: took out all the lymph nodes in the front part of the neck. Took out the voice box, and a bit of trachea. Made a connection between trachea and skin, through which the patient will now breathe. Cut the chest muscle loose from most of its attachments, with a bit of skin attached, and swung it up into the neck, to fill the hole we'd just made.

Both of those sound pretty cool, right? Taking out cancer, doing wacky things to help the patients function as normally as possible? The only problem is, it takes a loooong time. The first case I described lasted from 7:30am to 10:30pm. Because of stuff like lecture, getting pulled out to go take out a thyroid, and the ability to say "Okay, I'm gonna peace out," I did not truly appreciate the marathon-ness of that case. The second case I described, which was today, went from 7:30am to 6pm. I felt all those minutes. Maybe it's better when you're the actual surgeon. Maybe I just need to get new shoes.

We got through over 200 songs on the attending's iPod, one of which was thirty straight minutes of screeching "vocals" and wailing guitar that propelled Led Zeppelin from the 'Indifferent' to 'HATE' category in my mental file cabinet. It is clear that Jimmy Page is a guitar virtuoso within the first minute; I just don't understand why there must be twenty-nine more. I like decent, well-mannered songs with clear beginnings, middles and ends. The thing that sucks when it's the attending's music (as opposed to say, the scrub nurse picking it out) is that you can't really talk shit about it...until you get home.

My Weekend

As you all know, my general surgery rotation came to an end on Friday. My partner and I were lucky: our chief told us we were done around 1:30pm. I was ready to start partying right then. Unfortunately my friends who were also on general had chiefs who were way less cool than mine. They didn't finish until after 6. I killed the time by watching TV, catching up with the blogs I read faithfully, and having a private dance party. Lady Gaga's "Just Dance" is my jam, y'all. (On a related note, weird and improbable though it may be, I'm convinced that Lady Gaga is Gwen Stefani having some fun with us all. I will believe this until I see the two of them in the same place at the same time. I know that in the distant past I've also been equally convinced that Taylor Hanson was a girl and Jennifer Lopez's music career would never take off... but this time I think I'm right.)

When the workday officially ended for everybody, I hit the town with three friends. First we went to a nearby microbrewery for pizza and beer. Then walked to another restaurant for dessert. Then we went to another place and split some appetizers and a bottle of wine. Then we walked home. No cab fares, no dealing with tourists at the honky tonks, it was a great night. Best of all was getting ready for bed around 3am, and realizing that if I'd had to go in to the hospital, I'd be waking up then.

Saturday was a lot of sleeping, with a teeny bit of work thrown in. (After all, I haven't finished the whole clerkship, just one part.) For weeks my mental calendar has ended on February 13, so the whole Valentine's Day thing was a non-issue for me.

Sunday was church, followed by brunch, followed by sleeping, followed by some reading for the week ahead that I really could have skipped.

Which brings me to the now. I'm on the part of the Surgery clerkship called Critical Skills Week. It's run by the anesthesiology department, and covers things like airway management, ventilators, and intraoperative monitoring. The highlight of the day was the vent lecture. I feel like I actually understand ventilator settings now! Lowlights were a couple of SUPER BORING lectures, but they can't all be great.

For my entertainment and yours, I bring you another round of the lyrics game! This might be harder than necessary, since I only used two lines of each song. Virtual cookies for every correct answer, with bonus points for guessing which of the 15 songs is my current ringtone.

1. "Rhythm of My Heart"- Rod Stewart
No, never will I roam, for I know my place is home
Where the ocean meets the sky, I'll be sailing.

2. "Chop Suey!"- System of a Down
Wake up, grab a brush and put a little makeup
Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup

3. "Free Falling" -Tom Petty
All the vampires walkin' through the valley
Move west down Ventura Boulevard

4. "If It Makes You Happy"- Sheryl Crow
Bring you comics in bed, scrape the mold off the bread
and serve you french toast again

5.
Are you more than hot for me
Or am I a page in your history book?

6."Who Knew"- P!nk
I guess I just didn't know how I was all wrong
They knew better, still you said forever

7. "Thanks, That was Fun" -Barenaked Ladies
This sentimentality doesn't look good on me,
I thought that you would be begging to be with me.

8.
They are turning my head out to see what I'm all about
Keeping my head down, to see what it feels like now

9. "Karma Police"- Radiohead
I've given all I can, but we're still on the payroll
This is what you get.

10. "Take On Me"- A-Ha
You're all the things I've got to remember
You're shying away, I'll be coming for you anyway.

11. "Smooth Criminal" -Michael Jackson
She ran into the bedroom
She was struck down, it was her doom.

12. "This is how we do it"- Montell Jordan
You see the hood's been good to me
Ever since I was a lower-case g.

13.
Yes I know it was late, we were greeting the sun before long
And you live with someone, I live with somebody too.

14."Water Runs Dry"- Boyz II Men
We don't even talk anymore
And we don't even know what we argue about.

15.
But if I tell the world, I'll never say enough
'Cause it was not said to you, and that's exactly what I need to do

My thoughts on Coldplay's new album:

Life in Technicolor- This track is growing on me, but at the end of the day it's still just an instrumental track.

Cemeteries of London- Haunting lyrics + flamenco-esque beat = weird.

Lost- It only took two seconds for this track to completely win me over. My favorite song so far. That drum beat!!

42- A minute and a half of melancholy, plodding song, then a sudden switch to happy time! Weird.

Lovers in Japan/Reign of Love- One track, but two separate songs. Two perfectly fine songs, actually. But it bothers me that they weren't split up. So... weird.

Yes- No. Chris Martin should stay away from the low register. And it's another instance of tacking on a completely different song at the end. Weird.

Viva La Vida- Best song on the album. I'll need time for the novelty to wear off before calling it the best song on any Coldplay album.

Violet Hill- This song has really grown on me since I first heard it a couple months ago. It reminds me the most of A Rush of Blood to the Head (the album), for reasons I can't explain.

Strawberry Swing- I honestly don't know what to make of this song. There's some weird stuff going on with the music. It doesn't sound Coldplay-esque at all.

Death and All His Friends- Yet another song that completely shifts gears halfway through. This one might grow on me, so I won't dismiss it as 'weird' yet.

I'm not saying that bands can never ever do different things, but listening to the whole album, it sounds like they weren't sure what they wanted to do.

And now back to studying.

I recently took a quiz that claimed it would tell me which US cities I'd be happiest living in. Link is here, but be warned: The site put my pop-up blocker to work. You also have to supply them with "your" name and address. Anyway, I thought my results were worth sharing. Maybe I will use them to guide my residency application.

( On to the list!! )

Random music thought: I wasn't a big fan of the Snow Patrol song "Chasing Cars" when it was all over the radio. I didn't change the station in disgust when it played; I was just sort of indifferent to it. But recently the cover band that plays music for the final wager at trivia has started to do their own rendition of "Chasing Cars," every single week. Their rendition usually involves completely butchering the lyrics. You'd think that would turn my indifference into hate towards the song, but oh no. I am now its staunchest defender. Every week, I think "THE WORDS AREN'T DIFFICULT!! LEARN THEM! YOU ARE RUINING THE BEAUTIFUL SIMPLICITY OF THE SONG!!!!"

Uh...yeah. That's all I have to say. Second year ends the day after tomorrow!!!

Why I am unhappy:
At trivia tonight, I totally choked on a 'complete the lyrics' question. The song was "Midnight Show" by the Killers. Midnight freakin' Show. My favorite song from Hot Fuss, and I blanked. Booo.

Why I am happy:
At trivia tonight, we discovered a new source of fun: yelling at people to the tune of "Chop Suey!". If you're not familiar with the song, watch the video. The yelling works best if you make up things to yell at your nonexistent kids. "JOHNNY! I TOLD YOU TO STOP BOTHERING YOUR SISTER! STOP PUTTING YOUR FEET UP ON THE TABLE!" It doesn't come across so well in type, but trust me, it's awesome. I don't even like System of a Down.

Why I am freaking out:
We have like, three days of class left, or something crazy like that. Then we have finals, and then hardcore Boards study time will be here. Also, the other day my class got an email telling us that we will be considered third years as of May 9th. For the purposes of the student-run clinic, that is. I don't know what that makes the class above us, who will be on their last rotations at that point. Third years, upper half?

What I'm listening to right now:
Coldplay's new single, "Violet Hill." Available as a free download on their website for the next week. I'm not sure how I feel about the song yet. I need to spend some time with it.

Speaking of music...:
Atlanta people! Nobody told me that 99.7 FM is no more! That would've been a nasty surprise the last time I drove into the city. (Which, let's be honest, isn't going to be for years and years because I won't have the time.) Anyway, I guess I can free up that preset on my car's radio now.

That's all I've got for now.

Well, I've been a deliquent for the past few days. I don't know why; I haven't been super busy.

Early Tuesday
Three MDs and/or PhDs totally disrupted a panel of domestic violence survivors who were speaking to my class. Not only did they waltz in fifteen minutes early to wait for the conference that was starting when we finished, but they actually opened up their lunches and started chowing down. Professionalism-wise, that is two big no-no's. Now I truly understand what my mom has been telling me all my life. That is, all the formal education in the world (these guys were in the top 3% of Americans, education-wise) can't give you common sense. And if you don't have that, you'll look stupid no matter how smart you are. That's a take-home lesson, kids.

Late Tuesday
TRIVIAAAAAAAAA!! We led the whole time, getting the mystery question and the impossible question right. The impossible question was basically, "How wide is Rhode Island?" the trick being translating that from miles to football fields. We actually put down the same number as another team, which meant we had to do a tiebreaker impossible question, and guess the population of Bulgaria. Which we did, within 400,000. We were pretty much on fire. Alas, we fell to a third place finish, because the final question was "Guess the total cost of these items at Walmart.com". Which, in my book, isn't real trivia.

Wednesday
I had an exam! I hope I didn't fail it. I also went out to dinner to celebrate my friend Jenn's birthday. The food (Turkish) was delicious and the conversation was great.

Thursday
My Physical Diagnosis group finally got set loose in the hospital to interview patients. It was an exciting time. My partner and I made some mistakes, of course, but overall I think we did well.

Also on Thursday, I began to put together my study schedule for Step 1. I may get mocked for this, but 1) it's closer than we think and 2) we have fewer days than we think. So I've got this Excel chart going, color-coded and everything. When it's finished, I'll have it tattooed onto my abdomen for quick reference. While I know things won't go strictly as I plan, I'm actually mapping things out by the hour because that's the only way my distractable ass will stay on task. Oh, and I'm going to have to ban myself from all non-question bank websites. BUT never fear, I've still built in time for TV most nights, and trivia every Tuesday.

Friday
Liz hosted a small dinner party at our apartment (I gave very little assistance). I went from there to a concert with my friends Lindsey and Sarah. The opening act was Okkervil River, with whom I wasn't familiar, and whose name makes me think of Aqua Velva, the aftershave. From what I heard of their set (we were late), they're pretty good. The headliners were The New Pornographers, and they were awesome. To be honest, I would've been happy if they'd played a one-song set consisting only of "Sing Me Spanish Techno."

Today
Spent recovering from the events of last night, and working on a small presentation I have to do for Pharm on Monday. In other words, a "spend the whole day in pajamas" day. Glorious.

Right after the Academy Awards ceremony ended last night, my roommate and I went to On Demand to see if any of the winning movies were available. We ended up watching "Once," which won Best Song. It was a simply-shot, quiet film, with a straightforward plot: Irish busker meets girl, plays music with girl, falls in love with girl. It wasn't really my type of movie, but I recommend it to each and every one of you. Whether you like the movie itself is not my concern. You need to watch it, you need to hear its soundtrack music, and you need to add that music to your life. I especially recommend "Falling Slowly" (the song that won the Oscar) and "When Your Mind's Made Up." Trust me on this. I haven't felt this strongly about music from a movie soundtrack since I first heard the line "Gold teeth and a curse for this town..." I really mean that.

Went to a concert with three friends last night.

Opener #1: Umbrella Tree. Not really my kind of music, but they were certainly lively. I appreciated the French Horn.

Opener #2: The Spinto Band. I liked them. I liked them a lot. Their song "Brown Boxes" features kazoos! My friends and I mocked this at first, but by the end of the song we were all about the kazoos. I also enjoyed the song "Oh Mandy." I've added both to my playlist (and you should too!).

Headliner: The Whigs. I liked them, but the crowd didn't seem at all excited to see them. The venue held 500, but there were only about eight people singing along or reacting to the music in any way. That sucked, but the music was good. I recommend the songs "Technology," "Need You Need You," and "Right Hand on My Heart."

After the concert, we met up with some other friends downtown, where there was a cover band playing the classics: Bon Jovi, John Mellencamp, etc. There was also an abundance of sweet potato fries, which made me very very happy.

Now, it feels like I'm trying to get a sore throat/earache. A Eustachian tube ache, I guess. I think I've sufficiently recovered from the events of last night to drown my sorrows in TheraFlu. I'm going to go get started on that.

Here are the answers to the lyrics that went unanswered. I'm surprised nobody got Kanye or Pearl Jam.

2. "Black" -Pearl Jam. This is my favorite Pearl Jam song by far.

4. "Incredibly Drunk on Whiskey" -Memphis

7. "Mine's Not a High Horse" -The Shins

8. "Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner" -Fall Out Boy. Nobody in the world likes Fall Out Boy except me, so I didn't expect y'all to know this one.

11. "Stronger" -Kanye West. I guess nobody in the world listens to Top 40 radio, either. Every time I go into the office to do Emphasis work, I'm singing the lines I quoted to myself..

12. "Summer is Coming" -Matt Pond PA

13. "White Tooth Man"- Iron & Wine

14. "World on Fire" -Sarah MacLachlan. I thought this song was pretty popular in it's day (that video was all over the place), but it's no 'Building a Mystery'.

Here are lyrics from 15 songs that have been in heavy rotation as I've studied for this pharm exam. All in my top 30 or so most-played. Some are quite easy (in my opinion), but a few will probably go unanswered. Let's face it, I listen to a weird mix of stuff. No cheating, please!


1. "All I Want"- Toad the Wet Sprocket
Nothing's so loud
As hearing when we lie
The truth is not kind
And you've said 'neither am I'

2.
Ooh, and all I taught her was everything
Ooh, I know she gave me all that she wore
And now my bitter hands chafe beneath the clouds
Of what was everything

3. "Closer to Fine"- The Indigo Girls
He never did marry or see a B-grade movie
He graded my performance, he said he could see through me
I spent four years prostrate to the higher mind
Got my paper and I was free

4.
Megaplex and they’re closing the food court down
Fleetwood Mac and The Landslide plays in the background
The dead are coming to life in our hometown
Holding their loved ones, muttering
'I was lost and now I’m found'

5. "Life in a Northern Town"- The Dream Academy
A Salvation Army band played
And the children drank lemonade
And the morning lasted all day,
All day

6. "Maps" -Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Wait
They don't love you like I love you
Wait
They don't love you like I love you

7.
These are the muddy waters
I'm swimming in to make a living
That I might drown in them
Should come as no surprise

8.
Can I lay in your bed all day?
I'll be your best kept secret
and your biggest mistake.
The hand behind this pen relives a failure everyday.

9. "Rain King" -Counting Crows
Lay me down in a field of flame and heather
Render up my body into the burning heart of God in the belly of a black-winged bird
Dont try to bleed me
Cause Ive been here before and I deserve a little more

10. "Seven Nation Army" -The White Stripes
I'm going to Wichita
Far from this opera forever more
I'm gonna work the straw
Make the sweat drip out of every pore

11.
Bow in the presence of greatness
Cause right now thou has forsaken us
You should be honored by my lateness
That I would even show up to this fake sh--.

12.
The summer is coming
We should all stand clear
Of the heat and high water
You don't see - but you'll hear
The porch light gives off
Small lit circles
How - you could see nothing

13.
Said the plainclothes cop to the beauty queen,
"I've seen nothing but a spoke in a wheel"
So she gave up her crown to a kid with a crutch
And they both felt cheated after closing the deal.

14.
Hearts are worn in these dark ages
You're not alone in this story's pages
Night has fallen amongst the living and the dying
And I try to hold it in, yeah I try to hold it in

15. "You Learn" -Alanis Morissette
Swallow it down (what a jagged little pill)
It feels so good (swimming in your stomach)

Dear First Years,

You are lame. All but ONE of you. Seriously. I know you have a "big" exam on Thursday or Friday or both or whenever, but give me a break. You've got the rest of your lives to learn the pelvis. (If you're going into OB/GYN, you'll learn this stuff dozens of time over. If you're not, it doesn't matter anyway.) How many times in your life will you have the chance to hear your schoolmates play music onstage on the main strip of downtown Nashville? Not many times!! While you were in Eskind or Starbucks or wherever, your fellow students were giving a freaking concert on freaking Broadway Avenue. And you missed it, for what? Two extra points on an Anatomy exam? I promise, a month from now you won't even remember what you got on that stupid exam. Plus, the one first year who came to the concert got huge brownie points in the eys of the Deans who were also there. They'll remember her, but none of them will give a crap that you made a 92 as opposed to an 82 on the pelvis exam. Hell, I failed the pelvis exam in a big way, and look at me! I still made it to second year! Making no effort to support your schoolmates speaks volumes about the character of your class. Oh well, I hope you all get those residencies at hospitals with really prestigious names but which turn out to be extremely malignant. (Except for you, L.)

Sincerely,
LaKedra


And yes, I only just got home from hanging out with the band, like the groupie I am. No, I probably won't make PhysDi lecture tomorrow. Partying like a rock star is a limited time offer; I've got the rest of my life to learn heart sounds.

Neuro exam tomorrow, but I've been taking it easy study-wise for the past couple of days. I decided to do this Saturday morning, when I woke up and realized that I'd been dreaming about nystagmus ("Slow phase left! Fast phase right! Cold opposite warm same!"). I then thought back to Friday, when I'd seen a sign for Weight Watchers and thought it said Weigert Watchers. Clearly, I'd had enough Neuro. Today, I've mostly just been looking at my pathways and all my lesion diagrams. All while watching the 80s channel on Music Choice. Which brings me to the real reason for writing this entry.

Earlier today, I learned that the "I'm never gonna dance again / Guilty feet have got no rhythm" song is by Wham! and is called "Careless Whisper." Did you all know that? Were you keeping that knowledge from me? I thought it was called "Never Gonna Dance Again" and figured it was by some one-hit-wonder 80s band. Anyway, I decided that if I had to pick one piece of music to represent the 80s, I'd use the saxophone riff from that song.

Next, I heard Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up." When I was little, I heard the lyrics as "Then I'm Gonna Give You Up." I thought the guy was listing all these mean things he was going to do to his girlfriend. And he seemed so happy about it! That jerk. I found out what the real lyrics are a few years ago, so no need to worry that today has been an overload of 80s music epiphanies. Just an overload of 80s music.

Now, the roomie and I are listening to Celine Dion's "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" on repeat. It's been on for at least an hour now. And every single time, I whisper the final "And if we...." right along with Celine. That's probably a sign that I've finally snapped.

If I Never See Your Face Again
Makes Me Wonder
Harder to Breathe
The Sun
Can't Stop
Secret
In the Air Tonight
Shiver
Wake Up Call
Sunday Morning
Won't Go Home Without You
This Love

Encore:
Little of Your Time
She Will Be Loved
Sweetest Goodbye

..that I am not the same person I was ten years ago. Or proof that I have different obsessions, at the very least: Matchbox Twenty is releasing an album in a week, and I just found out two minutes ago. How far we've come, indeed.